You are all wished a fuck you christmas
This holiday can kiss my fat hairy ass
All it ever does is offer regret and sadness and unansered dreams
Far as I am concerned, we could all get stuck in goddamn chimneys and the world would be better off for it
And friends? Fake bastards showing their facades of cruelty.
Bring on the new year so an entirely new batch of fuck yous can begin
The roads we take ~
- I could go into a long drawn out rendition of what transpired with me over the course of 3 months , however I like to sorta word things in my own ways so for sum this will be hard to understand . I have modeled , danced and cammed for a while . After a while the excitment was lost from dancing and camming was always just a job . As a single mother I found a way to stay at home and have the optimal time with my kids as well so for that period of time it worked well for me . Modeling will always be a passion , even tho I do not aim nor try to become more then just who I am . Exactly 3 months ago I lost sumthing I loved deeply and I could understand that loss . I literally pushed everyone I loved away from me aside from my children . I managed to be so unhappy over it that I even brought others down around me . I tried to explain I could not find happiness in that moment in time . That being said many could not tolerate me and so I ran ..... I ran so far away from everyone and everything I had ever known in search of healing and even clarity , fuck maybe just peace of mind within myself . I went to the north an found myself more lost then ever before in a land of bliss yet no real idea of logic . I learned many things there . I learned to love nature for it can calm a soul like no other . I learned that true happiness comes from within yourself and not from another . Most of all I learned I was not meant to be there for so many reasons . So I ran thru options within my own head . I came to the conclusion I needed to go back to the place where it all began and then maybe I could let go of the animosity I carried within . I went to the Ocean the one where it all began . I found the source or should I say the source found me . I looked into heaven and saw utter hell . I tried to cling onto what was left of my tragedy only to see the tragedy lied beside me and this one I could not change. I had clarity and found all the answers I needed to let go . I know now I made the correct decision long ago and I shut a door forever . I woke up with a heart changed . Suddenly I could see for the first time who I needed loved and wanted back . ME . I looked at my kids and decided to continue my life happily . I moved back home to the family who has always been there for me and started appreciating the fact someone could still say I love you after all the pain I caused them trying to find myself . I am Cassie / Pain / Model / Gamer / Artist / MOMMY and thats all I ever want to be : ) Never let ppl hold you back from finding the answers you need in this world . Be brave and fight to find happiness even if it takes living in a raw ass hotel on the strip selling sum foodstamps lol :) do that shyt find you and then be proud you had the courage to make a change ! For those of you who follow and read my posts know that I love everyone . What we put out into this world is what we shall receive. I choose to pump out love ♥ ye ye thats my rant
- Cassie also known as Pain
Transcript between Jake Evans and 911 dispatch operator
911 Dispatch: Parker County 911, where is your emergency?
Jake Evans: Uh, my house.
911: What’s the emergency?
Evans: Uh, I just killed my mom and my sister.
911: What? How did you do that?
Evans: Uh, I shot them with a .22 revolver.
911: Are you sure they’re dead?
Evans: They’re dead.
911: Okay, I want you to stay on the phone with me. Are you alright?
Evans: Yeah, I’m alright. (The gun) is on the kitchen counter.
911: Jake, are you on any medication?
Evans: Uh, no. I’ve been going to the allergist, I’m on allergy medication. Other than Zyrtec and Advil and Pseudoephedrine, I don’t take anything else.
911: Is there any reason that you were so angry at your mother and your sister?
Evans: I don’t know. … It’s weird. I wasn’t even really angry with them. It just kind of happened. I’ve been kind of, uh, planning on, uh, killing for a while now.
911: The two of ‘em, or just anybody?
Evans: Pretty much anybody.
Evans: I don’t know. I don’t really like, uh, people’s, uh, attitude. … I think it’s kind of, very, like, you know, emotional. They’re verbally rude to each other and stuff like that. I don’t know. It’s just my family is just kind of really I guess this is really selfish to say, but I felt they were just suffocating me in a way. I don’t know, I’m pretty, I guess, evil…Whatever, I’m sorry.
911: Were your mom and sister in their beds?
Evans: I don’t know. This is going to really mess me up in the future. I told my sister that my mom needed her. She was in her room, and she came out of her room, and I shot her. And she rolled down the stairs and I shot her again. And then I went down and I shot my mom maybe three or four times, but I’ll never forget this. My sister, she came downstairs and she was screaming and I was telling her that I’m sorry but just to hold still – that, you know, I was just going to make it go away. But she kept on freaking out, but she finally fell down and I shot her in the head about, probably, three or four times.
911: Are you in the kitchen?
911: Where’s your dad?
Evans: He’s out of town. Washington, D.C. And, uh, I guess for future reference, I don’t really want to see any of my family members, like visiting or whatever. I just don’t want any type of visitors.
911: You don’t want to hurt yourself, do you?
Evans: Just to let you know, I hate the feeling of killing someone. (Sighs) I’m going to be messed up.
911: You just take a deep breath. We have deputies coming, and they’re going to help you. Just to let you know, we’re going to help you, we’re not going to hurt you.
Evans: I understand if ya’ll want to.
911: No, we’re there to help you, Jake. Everybody thinks we want to do bad things, but right or wrong, we want to help people, and we’re gonna help you. Do you understand that, Jake?
911: Is it a gated community? Is there a gate?
Evans: Uh, yes. You want the password? (He gives her the password)
911: It’s going to be alright, it really is. They’ll be there shortly, won’t be long now. Jake, would you mind turning any of the porch lights on?
Evans: I have turned the front lights on. (pauses) I was thinking of my sister. She was 15.
911: How long ago did (the shootings) happen?
Evans: About, uh, 30 minutes ago. (breathes heavily)
911: You’ll be alright, Jake.
Evans: I’m really worried about, like, nightmares and stuff like that. Are there any times of medications, and stuff?
911: Well, I think there is. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor but … I’m sure your family will get you the support you need.
Evans: I don’t mean to sound like a wimp or anything, but this is, wow, I’ve never, like, done anything violent in my whole life.
911: You don’t sound like a violent person. But um, help will be provided for you. Medical and psychological. That will be provided, so you don’t have to worry about that right now. Take deep breaths for me now, you’re doing fine. In through your nose, and out through your mouth so you don’t hyperventilate, okay?
911: Good, you sound a lot calmer right now.
Evans: I didn’t want them to feel pain, that’s why I used a gun, but it’s like everything went wrong.
911: Jake, my officers are almost there, would you be willing to walk out on your own?
Evans: Um, yes, I forgot to say before I called, I put the gun on the counter, it’s still loaded.
911: Okay, that’s fine. I’ll stay on the phone until it’s time for you to walk out. Are you on your home phone? Is it cordless?
911: Jake, what I want you do to is walk outside, but when you’re walking outside, stay visible, don’t walk behind any furniture. When you open the front door, put your hands up in the air, just walk very slowly, and walk outside, and keep your hands visible, alright, sweetie? I’ll talk to you later.
Evans: Thank you (puts phone down)
911: You’re welcome.
wow.. this is… wow
I have goosebumps reading this
What is amazing is how many of us out there feel this same way but fight it back every day
The best authoric find I’ve had all year.